Saturday, April 11, 2020

TS Eliot, evening shift and smiles


T. S. Eliot wrote, “April is the cruelest month.” Indeed, it has been a cruel month for billions of people around the world who have had covid-19, cared for a loved one who had it, lost a loved one to it, work with people who have it, or are staying home to avoid getting it. Unfortunately, the rest of the month promises more of the same, especially in developing areas where handwashing and social distancing are reserved for the privileged. Currently, nearly 1.8 million people have been diagnosed with covid-19 including nearly 530,000 from the US (more than triple any other country; New York state’s 180,000 people diagnosed is itself more than any other country). Worldwide, almost 110,000 people have died. Oregon has reported 1,447 patients and 51 deaths which not only suggests that our state is flattening the curve but projects to be one of the lowest population-adjusted death rates in the country.

The biostatistician who mentored me when I started doing health services research helped me appreciate the lives behind the numbers. Each covid-19 death represents a person who left behind family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues whose lives are also altered with that person’s loss; many of these people died alone or in the company of only the health care team. Each person who was hospitalized for covid-19 and was able to return home was ill enough to require hospitalization, isolated from family and friends, presumably missed work, and may have financial worries (why don’t Americans understand that healthcare is a human right?). All hospitalized patients, regardless of outcome, received care from a team of doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, pharmacists, food services, environmental services (aka housekeepers) and others who put themselves at risk of getting covid. Any of these patients, as well as those with mild symptoms, may have transmitted covid with loved ones or strangers.

It’s Saturday, a day shy of 4 weeks since I called in to work sick. This past week I worked 4 evening shifts at the command center, arriving about 2 and leaving after 10. Work itself is a mixture of update meetings, reporting each day’s progress, preparing for the next day, quiet intervals when I’m able to do parts of my “day job”, and an occasional flurry of phone calls during which it would be helpful to clone myself to find answers to a caller’s questions or address their issues. Once again, I am acquiring eclectic knowledge through work: information about the hospital’s pneumatic tube system, idiosyncrasies about the medical masks, the current visitor policy including exceptions, the hospital donation acceptance process, and various other things.

I like not waking up to an alarm, but even though I’ve been going to bed after 1, I’m still waking up before 8 so I’m a bit sleep deprived and my body is rather confused about when mealtimes should be. I’m guessing that by the time my body is used to the new schedule, which I will continue on weeknights through May 1, it will be time to transition back to day shift – a fine first world problem to have. Since I leave the house as an “essential employee” I am not as stir crazy as many of my friends who are working form home or laid off. I’ve been trying to exercise in the mornings before work – either riding my exercise bike walking up the hill to the nearby cemeteries which have lots of topography and impressive views along with plenty of things to look at. I was talking with Sister Lynda, a hospital colleague, about the views but didn’t have a good picture to share so I remedied that yesterday; now I’m thinking that perhaps I will give myself a photography “theme” for each walk – there’s the amazing views, plant life, birds, mosses & lichens, and that’s before considering the names and history of the gravestones. I smile each time I press the walk signal button at the one traffic light on the route because I’ve been using the bottom of my shoe so as not to touch something someone else has touched.

Every time I’ve had major stress in my life, including everything related to covid-19, I’m reminded how fortunate I am to have so many people in my life who make me smile. Thank you, and I hope I can give you reasons to smile, too.

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